IN CONVERSATION WITH… Ennui

As will soon be obvious, I’m not in the best mood today…

Download the AUDIO, courtesy of RTRFM.

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Yesterday a man gave a speech about a world
In which we wouldn’t have to live in fear
Of nuclear attack…
And it was nice, yeah it was nice
And meanwhile North Korea’s launching
Invisible satellites, and they are nice…
A little harder to see…
If you don’t believe me,
Just ask the Japanese, ‘cuz
They are nice,
Just ask the whales,
Second only to Sea Shepherd
For having tall tales…

If there is a point to all of this
I hope I’m not a realist
I hope there’s still hope to be had
I hope that life ain’t all that bad
I hope the earthquakes go away
I hope the missiles do not stray
When cynicism is the norm
It makes you wonder why we’re born…

A cynic is a person who just cannot see the good
In humanity; It’s history cannot be understood
In terms of nice… Don’t ask me why.
It’s like emos who can cut themselves but never seem to die
It isn’t fair… so much despair
And nothing good to show for it but really cool hair.

If there is a point to all of this
I hope I’m not a realist
I hope there’s still hope to be had
I hope that life ain’t all that bad
I hope the earthquakes go away
I hope the missiles do not stray
When cynicism is the norm
It makes you wonder why we’re born…

But if I had to guess…
That even cynics  just like sex… a little too much.

Stop procreating
We could have a new world order
If we’d all skip a generation.

IN CONVERSATION WITH… Post Nuclear Radio

This is a little unusual for me… found the subject matter a little heavier than I would normally go for satirical purposes… not that some of the content isn’t laughable, but there’s just something eerie about the BBC preparing a post-nuclear attack broadcast.

I may add more to this post later, when I’m feeling funnier.

You can download the script here…

In the meantime…

We didn’t hear the bombs fall
We only heard London Calling
A voice upon the radio
Said stay calm but don’t leave your homes
You can’t escape, can’t run away
Yes this is clear and present danger

This is the BBC
Stay on this frequency
It won’t be safe ’till you hear the sirens
It could be a week, it could be a fortnight
This is the BBC…

We can’t assess the damage yet
Nor casualties because the threat
Doesn’t end with the explosion
Stay in charge of your emotions
Fallout follows the big bang
And one more thing, turn off the gas…

This is the BBC
Stay on this frequency
You can’t see or feel radiation
Put your trust in us, your station,
This is the BBC

And then the voice said,
“Water means life. Don’t waste it”
And I wasn’t sure which one he meant.
Because I’m fairly sure it wasn’t me
That called upon the military
For a first strike that would all but
Flush us all away…

So thank god for the silent sirens
The cold war didn’t end with violence
Successive governments avoided
Sending us straight down the toilet
And it’s been more than thirty years
Since the fallout script never appeared…

This is the BBC
Stay on this frequency