In Conversation with… Sabian Wilde

Marketing Lecturer. Writer. Music Bod. Claims to have coined 'Perthonality'

IN CONVERSATION WITH… Sea Shepherd (a pirate fantasy shanty)

with 8 comments


Before I get started… I just want to say that I wish nothing but the best for the whales…

I hope some of you will remember – or at least appreciate the merit of – the graffiti that stood proud on Carrington St for what feels like most of the ’80s, near the corner of Leach Hwy (Fremantle, Western Australia), sending a message that made it clear that even ramming Japanese whaling ships doesn’t absolve us of our domestic concerns and our great failing, as a nation, to secure “Land Rights For Gay Whales”.

I also want to say that I wish nothing but the best for my friend and former housemate who is actually on board the ‘Steve Irwin’ trying to do her bit for nature. It’s just that I don’t believe that the Captain isn’t a lying, self-aggrandising media whore who will stop at nothing to promote himself, and (to be fair) the cause… sorry, I meant his cause. Having said that, if she’d answered my questions instead of asking for the chords to Black Boys On Mopeds, maybe I would have left this topic alone… maybe.

Old pic of Capn Watson, but great gravitas

Old pic of Cap'n Watson, but great gravitas

And on with the shanty!


A pirate’s life is dangerous, I suppose you know that’s true
And saving whales is piracy; I saw it on YouTube
This shepherd doesn’t tend his flock, he’s out there chasing wolves
The scientific whaling ship they call Nisshin Maru

The captain is a sturdy man, Paul Watson is his name
A co-founder of Greenpeace; Direct action is his game
While certainly his aims are Green, he’s not that good at Peace
But last year he complained he got shot by the Japanese

With a bullet unlike any that the world had seen before
It was fired from concealment
By a sniper unconcerned by physic’s laws
He took sights on his target while his boat pitched in the waves
His target’s boat was pitching too, but he had perfect aim

A perfect shot in a perfect storm,
And but for the kevlar that Watson wore,

And the unaccountable way in which the bullet appears to have slowed down in mid-flight to about the speed of a small caliber hand-gun, while maintaining — with perfect accuracy — it’s trajectory to Watson’s heart, before embedding itself in his bulletproof vest, coincidentally rated to stop a bullet from a small caliber hand-gun, but not a sniper’s rifle… ummm… where was I?

Oh… yes… the shanty.

A pirate’s ship is dangerous, the way it rocks and rolls, but
Conspiracies are confounded by the lack of grassy knolls.
A documentary crew was there, but they shot nothing like Zapruder
Missing both the shooting, and of course, the shooter.

(which really only goes to prove how skilled he was)

There’s no moral to this story; it’s a question of belief
If a pirate saves a whale is he a man of integrity and good deeds?
A man of Justice, a man who says, “Yes! Trust Us!
“Our ends always justify our means.”

Or is he a liar, a wanna-be martyr of the high seas?


Check this out.


8 Responses

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  1. Don’t forget that vegan has a lot o’ blubber,
    it gives him more protection,
    than the average landlubber.
    But even if his corpulence makes the vest redundant,
    without drama on his adventures, who is going to fund it?
    Awareness of the TV – it’s obviously just a ploy,
    but he should just float on his back and act as a decoy.
    No better cure for hubris than a harpoon in the arse,
    A chance for the marksman to really show his class…


    Tuesday, February 3, 2009 at 12:19 am

  2. I made the mistake of reading the replies to the article you linked to. I think most of the repliers completely missed the heavy irony in the report.

    … or maybe i’m seeing irony where there was none? … *holds his head* make the voices stop. stop now. that’s better.


    Tuesday, February 3, 2009 at 11:48 am

  3. I considered it ‘sincerity as a weapon’.

    It seems the radical left have trouble processing any criticism of their side.

    It must be fun to be righteous.


    Tuesday, February 3, 2009 at 12:04 pm

  4. Stand by to Ram!

    At least he isn’t in the tenth year of discussions on what to do about this case of humans shitting in their own nest Which is what we seem to have evolved to do. I applaud him. That’s real ship out there pissing off enviro-vandals. Full speed ahead!


    Tuesday, February 3, 2009 at 11:11 pm

  5. Point taken, Stevo. I do respect the intentions of most of the many volunteers that have participated in Sea Shepherd actions over the last decade, but I am concerned by Watson’s attempts to use the media to make himself out a victim, the way he sets himself up as a high-value target and then — and I don’t think this is a huge stretch — fakes an international incident to make the Japanese whalers look worse than they are. I also take issue with the nature of the documentary. For more info, check out this interview with Peter Brown, who has been a shepherd for 26 years, in which he admits that the ‘hostage’ situation following the ‘shooting’ was due to the Sea Shepherd abandoning their boarding crew, making it impossible for the whalers to return them safely. “It’s all giant street theatre,” Brown says.


    Wednesday, February 4, 2009 at 8:22 am

  6. […] If you don’t believe me, Just ask the Japanese, ‘cuz They are nice, Just ask the whales, Second only to Sea Shepherd For having tall […]

  7. Watson arrested in Portugal and then released. Presumably, it wasn’t because he was under-sized.


    Monday, June 22, 2009 at 3:42 pm

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