IN CONVERSATION WITH… Troy Buswell

There was a boy from Bunbury who joined the seething mass
When he won the preselection for the Liberal seat of Vasse
From underneath the sitting member, set the tone for his agenda
Cos the sitting member stands for all his seat
And the seat that no-one else could stand
Would lead to his defeat

Yes, Sniffy’s finally snuffed it
Yes he’s gone and kicked the bucket
Cos the chair he put his nose on
Didn’t have a leg to stand on
The joke was tasteless, you could tell
But it raised a stink, My God, the smell…
Makes you wonder who the Liberals have got?
Who will sit in Buswell’s seat and try and take their shot?

How much do you think you’d do if the Opposition Leader was you?
The economy is going strong the state is rich, there’s not that much wrong
How much do you think you’d do?

The pollsters say it’s Barnett and it’s possible the Libs may yet
Take one more chance to resurrect the single-handed architect
Of the “Far Canal”, from North to South – It was going to save us from the drought
But an early election the Libs have cause to fear
Cos the voters might just think, “there’s been a lot of rain this year”…

How much do you think you’d do if the Opposition Leader was you?
Omodei has gone away and Birney‘s been quite surly
Since his leadership got led astray
How much do you think you’d do?

Dr Nelson might need a job soon….
Dr Nelson might need a job soon….

IN CONVERSATION WITH… FARK.com

According to www.fark.com, there are seven types of not-news story.

1. Media fear mongering — Are we adequately prepared for unlikely occurrences?

2. Press release masquerading as Article – we know NOTHING about this one.

3. Headline contradicted by Article — It’s OK guys, blame the subs. Always blame the subs — they like it like that, they do…

4. Equal Time For Nutjobs — If your publication still believes in presenting two sides to every story, make sure the story isn’t blatantly ludicrous.

5. Out-Of-Context-Celebrity-Comment — Pink dag, anyone?

6. Seasonal Articles — Budget released… next day ‘How many doilies does it take to set government table”.

7. Media Fatigue — Has the media gone too far? Do boobs still mean anything after being used to sell everything? OMG — he said BOOBS!

…..

It’s a slow news day…

When the news is slow
But the ads still need somewhere to go
There are seven kinds of stories you can write

You can take an unlikely proposition
Take it to a member of the Opposition
Ask: “Are we prepared for a nuclear strike?”

He might give a stupid answer
He might run helter-skelter
In which case you accuse him
Of heading to a bomb shelter

“Buswell Unprepared For A Nuclear Attack!”
Read about it on page six
“Should the Libs give him the sack?”

Then you go out for a comment to the Dockers:
Pavlich says that their form is so bad
He wouldn’t be too bothered

It’s a slow news day…

If you can’t be arsed writing ‘War and Peace’
You can always cut and paste
From someone’s press release

Someone’s always got an axe to grind
And failing that you can always give
A nutjob equal time

“Armstrong didn’t walk the moon!”
Says a Flat Earth blogger who’s a certified loony

Nine out of ten prison inmates
Say that eating Weetbix makes them feel great

“Could your cereal make your child a killer?”
and “Who would win in a knock-down fight
with King Kong and Godzilla?”

It’s a slow news day…