Posts Tagged ‘Aspermont Ltd’
On Thursday, 29 September 2005, I managed to become the number one Google search result for ‘Booty Fever’, bypassing hundreds of adult-ass-oriented sites with the following story, written for the now defunct http://www.AutomationIndustryNews.net…
Robot sparks Robinson Crusoe booty fever
CHILE-based Wagner Technologies ignited a fierce fight for gold after the company claimed it had discovered an 18th century treasure-trove of buried pirate booty worth $US10 billion using a metal-detecting robot named after the movie Star Wars’ R2-D2.
The claims of hidden treasure are being given credence because the robot, Arturito, is something of a local celebrity, credited with discovering a large weapons cache belonging to a right-wing militant colony in southern Chile.
Arturito also discovered the remains of businessman Francisco Yuraszeck, who went missing in 2004. In both investigations officials called in the Wagner Technologies robot after being unable to solve the cases by traditional investigative techniques.
Arturito is equipped with advanced sonar technology able to scan the atomic composition of materials such as water, metals and petroleum buried up to 50m underground.
Wagner claims its crime-solving robot has discovered the missing treasure buried by Spanish navigator Juan Esteban Ubilla y Echeverria on an island off the Chilean coast in 1715. The treasure was believed to be found by British sailor Cornelius Webb, who proceeded to bury it elsewhere on the same island.
The island is also famous as the place Scottish sailor Alexander Selkirk was marooned for five years in 1704, inspiring Daniel Defoe’s Robinson Crusoe novel. The island was officially named Robinson Crusoe Island in 1966.
Wagner’s claims of discovering the missing treasure has sparked a battle for rights to the treasure, with participants including the Chilean Government and the 600 residents of Robinson Crusoe Island.
Wagner has refused to divulge any details on the location of the discovery until it is assured of a 50% stake in the treasure. Because Arturito uses sonar techniques, no digging has taken place at this stage.
The island itself is part of a World Biosphere Reserve due to its unique flora and fauna.
Current Music: Red Jezebel — Heart In The Sun
Current Mood: chipper
My job is harder than anyone thought it was going to be, but being the vocal person that I am, I think everyone I work with is fully cognisant of all the problems facing my site. Perhaps too much so.
So, I made an internal commitment to stop complaining — now that I have determined the problems, it’s time to come up with a plan of action.
I was explaining this to one of the corporate consultants [Colm O’Brien] currently contracted to the business, who was very happy to hear it.
“Good man,” he says. “Every problem has a solution.”
“Well, not entropy,” I reply.
“Well, pretty much everything we understand about the universe is a representation of some kind of energy exchange, but all the energy in the universe will one day reach equilibrium, at which point everything we call life, time etc will all cease to exist, as far we’re concerned,” says I, painting wildly inaccurate broadstrokes with my quantum-metaphysical paintbrush.
“I just want a piece of chocolate!” says the consultant, heading back to his office.
I, of course, head out for a cigarette.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIFI!
Current Music: +Exy – Tess’ Fashion Show
Current Mood: pleased
Well, I think I’ve done the few people that come here a dis-service by not updating regularly, and in particular, for not posting yesterday.
YESTERDAY MAY HAVE BEEN ONE OF THE BEST DAYS IN MY LIFE.
It didn’t start out promising — I had to go to an appointment with my Job Network Provider to meet my new specialised service agent, or whatever he’s called.
I got put on specialised support about two weeks ago, which had resulted in three appointments, no outcomes, and then the pleasure of having my support agent/officer changed on me before the first one had even had the opportunity to help me.
Earlier this week, I got rung up to make an appointment to meet my new agent/rep/whatever, and he sort of pushed me into Wednesday morning.
On Monday, I was returning from another job interview and stopped by to reschedule the Wednesday appointment because I’ve been attending ‘Parent Training’ in order to assist my daughter’s therapy… so I meet this new guy Garth and reschedule for Thursday.
While I’m at parent training on Wednesday, I miss a call from Garth, who’s warning me how serious it is for me not to have turned up for my Wednesday appointment, and how I can be breached… fucking typical — so I put it on top of my things to complain about when I get to the proper appointment on Thursday….
So, yesterday morning, I walk into the Job Network provider, only to be told that Garth isn’t in the office, and if I could just wait ten minutes, I’ll see another agent, Carol, who I’ve already met.
Thirty minutes later, I get really pissed off, go over to the counter, explain about Garth’s fuck up with the appointment times and ask what good it’s going to do for me to speak to Carol, as I know the only reason I’m there is to meet Garth…
They do a little bit of checking, and goddamit, whaddyaknow, I’m right (surprise!), so they reschedule my appointment for next Thursday, but not before trying to nail me down for another Wednesday appointment, despite the multiple notes on the system saying that I’m at parent training that day…. they really are masters of inadvertent head-fuckery…. I call it inadvertent because I don’t think they’re smart enough to work out the consequences of their actions.
Fuming, I stalk out of the building, and head to my mate’s record store, but I’m interrupted by a phone call telling me that I’VE GOT A JOB! A REAL ONE, WITH A REAL FUCKING SALARY!
I go into my mate’s record store and start explaining about how I’m now a deputy editor, in charge of creating a daily bulletin on automation and robotics for the heavy industry sector and I can hardly believe what I’m saying….
Then the phone rings again…. I start rehearsals with the local impro comedy group on Monday week…
Woop, woop, fucking-A woop!
Then I head out to a sort of informal meeting I have with the station manager of RTR, who used to be a rival of mine when we were both respectively editors of enemy magazines, but we seem to have been getting along well when our paths have crossed since I got back to Perth. In fact, he’s been really friendly, and I’ve appreciated it.
So, I take a tour of the new facility and then we’re back in his office, talking about the future of the station, and what role I might like to play in that… there are some really cool things about to happen at RTR, including the LONG OVERDUE introduction of a two-hour program dedicated to locally made ELECTRONICA!
Having said that, the longstanding local music show, HOMEGROWN, has been suffering in the past few years – a decline that started with a timeslot change while I was that programme’s coordinator… next thing, we’re talking about if I’d like to rejoin the team when the restructuring starts…
Yep, I may well be back on the airwaves…
WOOP FUCKING WOOP WITH A CAN OF WOOP-ASS WOOPING!
Life is good.
So of course, I got drunk, rented AVP and ate the most ridiculously intense red curry I’ve had in years…