In Conversation with… Sabian Wilde

Marketing Lecturer. Writer. Music Bod. Claims to have coined 'Perthonality'


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This is a little unusual for me… found the subject matter a little heavier than I would normally go for satirical purposes… not that some of the content isn’t laughable, but there’s just something eerie about the BBC preparing a post-nuclear attack broadcast.

I may add more to this post later, when I’m feeling funnier.

You can download the script here

In the meantime…

In Conversation With… Post Nuclear Radio

We didn’t hear the bombs fall
We only heard London Calling
A voice upon the radio
Said stay calm but don’t leave your homes
You can’t escape, can’t run away
Yes this is clear and present danger

This is the BBC
Stay on this frequency
It won’t be safe ’till you hear the sirens
It could be a week, it could be a fortnight
This is the BBC…

We can’t assess the damage yet
Nor casualties because the threat
Doesn’t end with the explosion
Stay in charge of your emotions
Fallout follows the big bang
And one more thing, turn off the gas…

This is the BBC
Stay on this frequency
You can’t see or feel radiation
Put your trust in us, your station,
This is the BBC

And then the voice said,
“Water means life. Don’t waste it”
And I wasn’t sure which one he meant.
Because I’m fairly sure it wasn’t me
That called upon the military
For a first strike that would all but
Flush us all away…

So thank god for the silent sirens
The cold war didn’t end with violence
Successive governments avoided
Sending us straight down the toilet
And it’s been more than thirty years
Since the fallout script never appeared…

This is the BBC
Stay on this frequency

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