All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.
Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
– Gore Vidal
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.
– George Bernard Shaw
The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.
– George Bernard Shaw
I have witnessed proceedings from a detached observer’s viewpoint, which has allowed me to deduce that the principal aim of these events [funerals] is to assist embittered octogenarians desperately attempting to bring meaning to their lives. They absolutely dominate proceedings, seemingly unaware that if they haven’t done whatever they’re trying to do by now, they’re not ever going to. I’m fairly sure this is what dying with dignity legislation was designed to address.
– The Parasite
Obama’s election is great for our country but bad for comedy. He is an earnest, intelligent person trying to rescue a country in crisis and that’s not all that hilarious.
– Michael Musto, NYC, Village Voice columnist
Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.
– Isaac Newton
The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works…
– President Barack Hussein Obama
Inauguration Speech, 20 January 2009
A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.
– P. J. O’Rourke
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
– Saki [Hector Hugo Munro b.1870 d.1916]
A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
– Robert Heinlein
Profanity, like virtue, is its own reward.
– Holbrook Jackson (British journalist)
It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.
– Neil Gaiman
Sometimes people carry to such perfection the mask they have assumed that in due course they actually become the person they seem.
– W. Somerset Maugham
I make all my decisions on intuition. But then, I must know why I made that decision. I throw a spear into the darkness. That is intuition. Then I must send an army into the darkness to find the spear. That is intellect.
– Ingmar Bergman