In Conversation with… Sabian Wilde

Marketing Lecturer. Writer. Music Bod. Claims to have coined 'Perthonality'


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According to, there are seven types of not-news story.

1. Media fear mongering
— Are we adequately prepared for unlikely occurrences?

2. Press release masquerading as Article – we know NOTHING about this one.

3. Headline contradicted by Article — It’s OK guys, blame the subs. Always blame the subs — they like it like that, they do…

4. Equal Time For Nutjobs — If your publication still believes in presenting two sides to every story, make sure the story isn’t blatantly ludicrous.

5. Out-Of-Context-Celebrity-CommentPink dag, anyone?

6. Seasonal Articles — Budget released… next day ‘How many doilies does it take to set government table”.

7. Media Fatigue — Has the media gone too far? Do boobs still mean anything after being used to sell everything? OMG — he said BOOBS!


It’s a slow news day…

When the news is slow
But the ads still need somewhere to go
There are seven kinds of stories you can write

You can take an unlikely proposition
Take it to a member of the Opposition
Ask: “Are we prepared for a nuclear strike?”

He might give a stupid answer
He might run helter-skelter
In which case you accuse him
Of heading to a bomb shelter

“Buswell Unprepared For A Nuclear Attack!”
Read about it on page six
“Should the Libs give him the sack?”

Then you go out for a comment to the Dockers:
Pavlich says that their form is so bad
He wouldn’t be too bothered

It’s a slow news day…

If you can’t be arsed writing ‘War and Peace’
You can always cut and paste
From someone’s press release

Someone’s always got an axe to grind
And failing that you can always give
A nutjob equal time

“Armstrong didn’t walk the moon!”
Says a Flat Earth blogger who’s a certified loony

Nine out of ten prison inmates
Say that eating Weetbix makes them feel great

“Could your cereal make your child a killer?”
and “Who would win in a knock-down fight
with King Kong and Godzilla?”

It’s a slow news day…


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