In Conversation with… Sabian Wilde

Marketing Lecturer. Writer. Music Bod. Claims to have coined 'Perthonality'

IN CONVERSATION WITH… My Conjoined Comedy Foetus

with 3 comments

AUDIO available courtesy of RTRFM.

This week’s song dedicated to the very long gestation period between becoming a comedian and performing a gig.

This is me and Peter Barr. It is also why we predominantly work in radio and print.

This is me and Peter Barr. It is also why we predominantly work in radio and print.

Peter, it’s been three years
We’ve been in this little room
It’s kind of like a womb
And you’re my conjoined foetus

When you laugh, I laugh
We don’t know what the listeners do
We hope that they are laughing too
Because they complete us

Without an audience we’re just voices in the air
But I think part of the deal is that we’re
Funnier, when we’re not there

In their bathroom, in their bedroom
Where they keep their radios
Our disembodied voices
Go where our conjoined foetus bodies cannot go…

But three years is a really long time
For me to be a comedian, who never plays live
And I won’t lie, it’s probable that this will hurt a bit
But when it’s done,
You can go to Deathcab while I play my first gig

It’s on Thursday, so on Wednesday
I suggest we separate
My wife suggested pliers
Or non-surgical serration

While it’s hard for you and me
To think of lives on our own
I think that our respective partners
Will be happier when we’re closer to full grown

Out of this womb onto a stage I will appear
Raw Comedy’s the place to be
But a Death Cab will not take you there

You’re my favourite conjoined foetus
You’re the best I’ve ever had
There were one or two before you
I absorbed them when I got mad

But never you, not in this womb
You’ve been so good to me
So though I’m going solo
Rest assured that I will come back next week

Without an audience we’re just voices in the air…

SUPPLEMENTAL: Death Cab for Cutie are AWESOME.

3 Responses

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  1. I wonder if you’ll get any creepy radio listeny people come to see you at the charles. With their beady eyes and sweaty palms and a penchant for keeping slices of cheese in their pockets. I’ll keep an eye out for people with suspicious, ticking bags. Though they never tick anymore do they? Is it the vibration, like they mention in Fight Club? I could be the vibrator inspector. It’s not like I don’t know my way around your garden variety vibrator. Though you wouldn’t want to use them in the gardens… maybe those are the ones that get used as bombs, because no one is really getting that much use out of them in the garden. Has anyone made that link? Maybe I should notify ASIO, with their decent sound drivers, which my new laptop is completely lacking, fucking Dell. They’re a bit like terrorists. Or dildos, really.

    yes. enough of that, now.


    Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 3:12 pm

  2. Hey Sabine! Well done last night, you rocked! And hi Brett! Aw, yay, blog friends I have actually met in real life 🙂


    Friday, February 20, 2009 at 9:25 am

    • Thanks Sunili, good to meet you too… now that I am no longer a stand-up virgin, I expect to keep going. See you ’round the circuits, virtual and actual.


      Friday, February 20, 2009 at 2:09 pm

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