In Conversation With… Daylight Savings
This is weird… I’m going to explain how I *don’t* write a song…
This week’s topic, the much maligned daylight savings… but where to start? I have an idea of where I want to go… a particularly amazing letter to the local paper of Albury-Wodonga (NSW/Victoria border town[s])… you can actually see the writer’s brain clunking away as he writes….
Unfortunately, as the attempted song below proves, it is not the destination that’s important, it’s the journey…
IN CONVERSATION WITH… Daylight Savings
Woke up this morning,
Felt the sun upon my face
Thought, ‘That’s surprising, where’s the curtains?’
But they’d burnt right away
I heard the farmers
Screaming ‘murder’ from the dairy market
Cows are fit to bursting, but I guess
That’s an udder thing*
Daylight saving’s got me wasting half the day complaining
Another hour of sun don’t seem to be worth legislating
No referendum, just an hour to add to your addendum
Two hours behind Sydney, but an hour before Beijing
You read the paper and the crisis happens an hour later
Bank deposits guaranteed except for your daylight savings…
And here, at this point, I realise I can’t go on… I’ve made a boobs joke about a cow and tried to plough through it, but it’s a sure sign there’s nothing good going to come out of this… I call Barr and say, “it’s just not happening, I’m making udder jokes… it’s sub par”
Barr’s suggestion about the udders [and I’m only slightly paraphrasing here]: Milk it.
And I would, if I wasn’t me.
So that’s it… a lesson in why I sometimes don’t head in to the studio – for the benefit of all.
And also, because it’s dark at 5am. Especially now.