In Conversation with… Sabian Wilde

Marketing Lecturer. Writer. Music Bod. Claims to have coined 'Perthonality'

IN CONVERSATION WITH… Rock and CTVW

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First of all, I’d just like to apologise to EVERYONE.

Now, are we sitting comfortably? Good.

IN CONVERSATION WITH…
Rock and the Children’s TV Workshop

I’ve been working on a theory about rock’n’roll and kid’s TV
If you got it on watching G-Force and Voltron
Then the L.A. scene came a little more naturally
Their world was dark and it was violent
Their lycra uniforms were skin-tight
Their heair was teased and they did just what they pleased
They drove fast cars, they were armed to the teeth

So what does this theory mean for the kids in the scene
That begins when you grow up in the eighties?
No more psychedelic dreams or Big Bird’s neuroses
Imaginary elephants called Snuffy

No, what did these kids get, to prepare them for rock excess?
They got a little red muppet called Elmo… “Let’s be FRIENDS!”

And Elmo’s optimism don’t stand up to criticism
Life will crush the lessons that he taught you…
At least with Snuffy you’re prepared
For misery and despair – and the sense that noone ever sees you

And if you take the L out of Elmo
Then it’s Emo… oh yeah
Take the L out of Elmo and it’s emo…

Elmo wouldn’t know where to go
With a groupie and a bag of blow
While Snuffy had a nasal tract
That could safely knock a gram of smack back

And a better disposition
For narcissistic inquistion
Ask young Elmo why he cries
He says “They tickled me until I died”

Take the L out of Elmo and it’s emo

Don’t ask me why…Cause if you take the Y out of Snuffy
Then you get snuff… That’s probably why I was a goth…

I’ve been working on a theory
About rock’n’roll and kid’s TV…


[Additional note: Elmo is a natural albino, but a compulsive cutter… his traditional ‘red’ colour has been used to hide blood and scarring to reduce the likelihood of scaring children.]

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