In Conversation with… Sabian Wilde

Marketing Lecturer. Writer. Music Bod. Claims to have coined 'Perthonality'


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I wouldn’t normally define teenage pregnancy
As fitting the criteria for champagne comedy
But that is just what Juno does
It’s cynicism seeking love
And showing in a cinema near you
Gestating a belly laugh or two

What do you know, Juno?
You know you’ve got a line in caustic wit
What do you know, Juno?
Well not enough to not be pregnant

Give up on your dark sarcasm
It won’t help to bridge the chasm
‘Tween your sense of being free
And the mandates of biology

Ellen Page, she really cuts it up
In the role of young Miss Juno, Juno MacGuff
In a film surprisingly directed by the son
Of the man who made Ghostbusters, Ivan Rietman

Jason Reitman made a splash with ‘Thank You For Smoking’
Now he’s back to demonstrate his talent’s more than token

What do you know, Juno?
You know you made it with a boy named Bleeker
Sitting in a chair
With no protection, to speak of

Witty dialogue won’t stretch ya
Half as much as your last trimester
Listening to early Stooges
Makes you hard without the bruises

So now it’s real she thinks it’s easy to decide
To keep the pregnancy but give away the child
To a couple who are desperate to be parent
It’s a choice that in a sense lays claim to innocence

Dialogue is half of it; the other is the casting
Dad is Jonah Jameson and Mum is from West Wing
How’s this for prospective parents?
Failed rock star and anal retentative
ALIAS and Jason Batemen
Superbad kid provides the semen

What do you know, Juno?
It’s got a lot of unexpected laughs
It’s kind of close to cool
But even closer still to being sad
Is it contemporary
Or life as we’d like it to be?

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