It’s a good thing I don’t usually make it to the job interview process, because none of my answers are appropriate, apparently.
Q: Where do you see yourself in five years?
A: In your chair
Q: Do you plan on returning to study in the future?
A: Yes, I’ll probably study externally at a later stage.
Q: Why externally?
A: I hate students… And universities.
Q: If you hate students and universities, why do you want to study?
A: I have a great passion for useless information.
Q: Describe a situation in your previous employment where you had to deal with a problem.
A: I found that I had a staff that wasn’t committed to excellence.
Q: What did you do?
A: I asked them if any of them thought they were as good as me. No-one answered, so I agreed with them. Then I told them I wasn’t as good as I wanted to be and unless they wanted to be at least as good as I was already, they could fuck off.
Q: What happened then?
A: They all quit.
Q: They all quit?
A: Yeah, but it worked out alright. I had a great staff by the end of the next week.
Despite all this, I hope to be getting support for a Cert4 in training, which means I’ll be allowed to teach again.
Or I can be a croupier.
[081014 addendum] Strangely enough, I always seem to get the job.