In Conversation with… Sabian Wilde

Marketing Lecturer. Writer. Music Bod. Claims to have coined 'Perthonality'


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I am fast working out how much fucking TIME a ‘real job’ takes up. Not remembering, because the last time I worked in an office, I did my absolute best to treat it like a playground, which makes this my first ‘proper’ job ever… as in the kind you hate, but don’t mind hating…

But today, I had a sort of time revenge….

I sneezed… it took half an hour.

This is because I <a href=””>sneezed</a&gt; into a cup of piping hot coffee.

From my supposedly quiet workstation/cubicle, an explosion of caffeine and water… like a brown arterial spray.

Fan-fucking-tastic…. It seems that I am not only naturally disturbed, but naturally disturbing the peace at all times.

My co-workers (who are fine if you like that kind of thing) all pop up from their cubicles like bunnies out of warrens and see if I’m OK.

I’m looking at the 1/2 a centimetre of coffee that’s still left in the recently full cup and notice that it’s really, REALLY frothy…. I’ve made a Sabuccino!

Said workers keep their opinions to themselves as I start to laugh my ass off.

Don’t underestimate the power of the <b><a href=””>sneeze</a></b>&#8230; I managed to spend the next half an hour cleaning up the computer, monitor, keyboard, desk, and re-enveloping all the day’s mail…

And all it cost me was burning my face on company time.


Written by Xab

Wednesday, December 3, 2003 at 1:49 pm

Posted in Comedy

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